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Sunday, 04 October 2009

  • Thinking of a Masterplan~

    I love my life

    but.....

    I hate my full time job. It sucks!! Really want a new one but I dont want just anything. I want something along the lines of what I am in school for. Public Health!! I love my part-time job working at HIV/AIDS Consortium but my Full time job @ TimeWarnerCable sucks. Not trying to say Im Ms. High and Mighty but  Im over-qualified for Customer Care. Only thing.... Charlotte is not the place for health care positions not unless you are a nurse/doc/therapist/banker.... So!

    Should I just have a set date to quit and go ahead and complete my CNA course// That will atleast get me something in healthcare. And since I am movin gin May TWC means nothing to me and being atleast a CNA with a Bachlors degree and a grad Certificate in Community Health Education will sure get me somewhere in DC. I just want to make sure I am not living paycheck --> to paycheck however I believe in complete happiness and eveytime I come to work... its like a drag to even open the entrance doors.

     

    Just had to get that off my check.

Saturday, 12 September 2009

  • It took a year!!!

    After crying uncontrollably, fussing, feeling sorry for myself, being jealous of other women, being in denial, torn up, broke down, lost , confused, unhappy, stressed, uneasy, lonely and whatever else you can think of after a major heartbreak from someone you have grown to love, live with, and connect to.... I am finally over it!!! It took alot of praying, misunderstanding, HATE, and regret to finally get the message that "Love lost is better than never loving at all". Of course I am not fully to a point where I can say "I don't love him anymore" and quite frankly may never get there but how I feel about him is totally different. I don't hate him because I know that the LOVE we had will never be replaced even though he is with someone else. He was my first love, the first man that took my heart, the first man to teach me to really love myself and trust. Growing with with a promiscuous father is hard but I know that every man is not like that. Of course I did not want us to be over...I'm glad that we are. I have traveled more than I would have, met great people, had great conversations and have continued to move forward to my dream with out nothing holding me back. Had I done that with him?? I'm not sure. I'm just glad that I had a chance to feel what it means to be in love. Some people run from it and some people never run into it. Me? I have did all the above. I'm not afraid eventhough some people said I should be. I control my life and I have faith that the next time I taste the sweet nectar of love... it will be for the last time.

    Have a great Saturday!!!!

Monday, 07 September 2009

  • How do you say "Im not feeling this"??

    The title states it all.... the obvious. How in hell do you tell someone that has been so kind, that you know could really benefit you...that "I'm just not feeling this??".

    Just to name a few..........

    Good:

    - Makes sure I am happy

    -Takes me out

    -Says the right things

    -Comes from a religious background

    -Education and job

    -Want to be with me

    Downfalls:

    - Why do I have to "teach you" how to trust someone and fall in love. I'm sorry... I want this at least "almost" ready made

    -Whine toooo much (his situation has to be worst than mine...just cant win)

    -Brags too much... when honestly there is not too much to brag about.

    -Not close to his extended family at all

    - Complains aLLL the time... like shut UP sometimes

    Results: It is soooo irritating. I know he would make a the perfect person however...not for me. I have been single tooo long to just settle. If I'm going to be booed up... He better be on his A-game. Agree???

    Conclusion  : Need help... How do you tell someone you have ben chilling with since June... I'm not feeling this, Sorry????

Tuesday, 01 September 2009

  • Been in Cali for a few days and loved it. Wished I couldve done more but nevertheless! It was a great first time. Have a sister on my dad side that I have only seen twice counting this time and we had the best time. We look alike. Its crazy how we,on our dad side, look alike however we are so far apart. The only one I'm close with is my sister DEDE. Keep in mind Im 10 of 11. Can u say dady was a rollin stone. He's made mistakes but I love him the same. I'm closer to him than any of my other siblings because I have been taught to forgive and forget. My grandparents taught me that forgiveness is the best and I have came to realize that although he wasn't the best dad,he is the person that made me. To be honest I know I am his fave. I think because he married my mom (ofcourse they are not together now) and I am the one who never forgets his bday or holidays. I'm the one he spent most time with and he named me and ofcourse I have his last name. I'm trying to build a closer relationship since I lost my papa. Its hard trying to fill a un-fillable void but I do miss having the man figure inb my life. I miss my papa sooo much!! It seems better just to remember all his lessons than tryin to replace the irreplaceable.

Thursday, 27 August 2009

  • Am i too picky??

    Let me think?!?!?

     

    Dear somebody,

    You are too short, ohhh I like them tall. Too light skinned, I am light skinned so somebody have to have some color. Love your eyes but whats up with your nose. Ohhh dreads i like, just make sure they are in tact at all times, no LOOSE ROOTS. Brush cut and edge-ups.... I like, just make sure you get that done like once a week depending on the pace of yout hair growth. No kids... ok if you have one I can deal with but he/she has to be over 5 years... no baby mama drama. Close with your mother (thats the foundations). Have a job... a real job sorry. I have a full time job so why are you working at Burger King. Nice clothes... Im fly, so you have to compliment my swag.  And this mean the whole attire... not a nice shirt and nice pants then busted shoes. Come on... Jordans arent my thing but damn...make it work!! Good hygeine...no exception  to the rule!! Nice teeth... if you have benefits use them. Car... yes you have to have a car. Maybe not a Benz or an escalade but not a "cash for clunker" car. Nice looking, you dont have to be Denzel but something to look at in the mornings. Goal oriented... no promoting parties on a low scale is not a goal. If your goin to be a buisness man then go all the way. Education would be nice... atleast a B.S/B.A degree. Im not looking for Einstein but can I get Newton please. Can your conversations be interestsing and not just about yourself and how you use to be or what you use to do...get the hell over it. We are grown people. No wackness... sorry "white humor" and not humor goes hand-in-hand. No disrespect... please have some swagger about yourself. Confidence have to be high.. I like a man to now his worth. And have a high self-esteem...such a turn on. No stinginess... this is so 2009. Yes it is a recession...but lets not claim it... Japanese steakhouses and Olive Garden should still be in your budget. Whinning... hold up.... are you whining like a little punk...no sir no sir... that will not happen! I like a manly man so be a MAN damnit...leave the whining to me and my PMS days. Please put it down in the bedroom... Im not asking for a porn star but can you please be close to it. That brings me to another kick... romance is always a plus. That would really put you on top. And also no one owes you anything... so dont think people have to do you favors. Also... dont lie to me. "Real Eyes Realize Real LIES"... I can smell you a mile away,. Annnddddd can we please have some type of religion going... Baptist, christianity... I like goin to church. Im not perfect but I am work in progress. Laziness is not an option, I grind hard so I need someone to grind with me. Oh yeehhh please speak correct engish so I can understand what you are talking about.... *sigh.

    P.S: AM I too PICKY????

    Love,

    Me

NMyOwnWords

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    • Member Since: 11/4/2008

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About Me

  • I am at a point in my life where I have learned so much about myself. Its like the Re-juvenation of Me! I know how it feels to be down and I fully appreciate my UPS. I am content with who I am. Although at times things may not go as planned, I am thankful for what I have! I am a Graduate N.C A&T State University, I have a BS in Journalism and Mass Communications, I work smart, play harder and a woman of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Innnnncorporated. What more can I say...

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